Expressing Himself

Warning to the faint of heart, this post is going to be a doozy.  As in gross.  If you don't currently own a dog, this might scare you off.  If you are so lucky as to be a current dog owner, then, well, let's commiserate, shall we?



So the Husband and I drove up to Monterey last weekend to spend Easter with his family and family friends.  It's a thing.  We decided to bring the little rug rat along, since Rex was going to be there, and any place is an adventure when Theo is involved, right?

Theo is by now pretty experienced with long car rides.  We've driven him to Reno and back several times now, and that's a few hours longer in the car than Monterey, so I wasn't expecting any problems.  So what was wrong this time?  I have no idea!  I think it must have been me.  And I'm not being mopey.  See, I hurt my back last week, a few days before we left.  Jump squats in combination with too much lifting of my Fatty McButterpants of a nephew.  I don't want to talk about it.  Anyway, have you have sat in a car all day with a hurt back?  It was rather excruciating.  So my only guess is that Theo was picking up on my discomfort (read: pain), and added it to his own stress.

Ok, that was a little mopey.

So how do I know Theo was stressed out?  Well first off he kept laying on the floor on the front passenger side, rather than wedging his body on the seat between me and Husband like he usually does.  Second, and more importantly,well...we noticed a smell.  Husband caught a whiff of something he said smelled like fish.  Rotten fish.   He said he thought it was Theo, I said no way it was him, then I smelled my hand, which had been on his butt.  Oh my goodness my hand has never smelled so fowl.

Have you ever heard of dog's having this little thing called anal glands?  They are glands on the rear end of a dog that can secrete some kind of nasty compound.  It's called expressing.  Some breeds get a bit...backed up in the gland area and have to have them expressed by a person.  That's why some dogs drag their butts on the ground. They are trying to relieve the discomfort from needing their glands expressed.  Anyway, from my experience, Corgis are not one of those breeds, and Theo, at least, has never expressed, um, back there.  So we were a bit taken aback that he did it in the car.

And of course he did it in the car, when we were trapped!  For hours!  With that nasty fish smell!  Thank goodness for hand sanitizer and doggy wipes is all I'm going to say on that subject.  That, and I hope you never have to smell the smell.  Ew.  I'm scarred.  For life.  Possibly my next life too.  I'll be a Jungle Princess who at random times smells a mysterious fish smell she can never quite place or identify.  Because by the time I die and get reincarnated the world will have Jungle Princesses.  Mark my words.


In other savory Theo life events...I had another one last night.  Remember that fatty tumor the vet drained a few weeks ago?  He had described it as a waxy buildup, which I didn't understand, since what I was draining was definitely what I would describe as fatty (um, cottage cheese?), and not waxy.  Well, I noticed last night the bump had returned (it was very small), but it was at a head, so like a pimple, I figured I would go ahead and try to pop it and get out any buildup I could.  Well after a couple of squeezes that seemed pretty painful to Theo (poor pup!), and I say seemed because he never verbally complained.  What a trooper!  Anyway, after a few squeezes something popped out that was definitely not cottage cheese!  It looked like a tiny corn kernel.  I showed it to Husband (after I asked him to bring me a paper towel because no way I was going to touch it, ew!), and he reminded me that that was probably the waxy buildup the vet was talking about.  Interesting right?  If you can see past the gross factor.  Poor Theo had a little hole in his skin where the wax had come out.

Husband wanted me to title this post "Wax Balls Under My Dog's Skin".  He might have gotten the idea from me.  But I decided to lead with the expression.

And because I think all things should come in 3s, here's another picture of Theo:

Yup, he's pooping.  Nope, I don't pull any punches on this here weblog.  It's not the best poo shot.  Sometimes his front paws are all the way on top of his back paws, and his back is super hunched.  That's the cutest.  Next time.